


This Was Over Long Before We Met

by TheColorAbi



Category: Taking Back Sunday, The Color Fred
Genre: Break Up, Cheating, M/M, Male romance, Mistress, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 21:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14881203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheColorAbi/pseuds/TheColorAbi
Summary: Fred Mascherino has Adam Lazzara convinced that what they have is true love. Fred has Adam wrapped around his little finger.Fred's about to break poor Adam's heart...





	This Was Over Long Before We Met

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was first posted on Mibba "May 27th, 2009" under my username, The Color Abi.

Adam observes as Fred's chest slowly rose and fell, his eyes red from watching all night. He wanted to sleep but couldn't in fear of Fred leaving him to go and sleep in his own hotel room; Adam would be left all alone and alone isn't what he wanted to be. This fear of Fred leaving him had grown and grown over the past couple of weeks thanks to Fred talking about becoming more serious with his side band, The Color Fred. Adam couldn't get his head around why the love of his life would want to leave him meaning they'd not see each other for long, long periods of time and when they did, he'd most likely have his wife and three children with him...  
  
Sighing gently, Adam ran his fingers through Fred's delicate, mousy blonde hair, wishing for this to never end. He felt tears start to form in his eyes before they slowly started to roll down his cheeks making him frown. Fred  _couldn't_  leave him, Adam  _needs_  Fred like the air he breathed; Fred was the air Adam breathed.  
  
“Don't leave me, ever.” Adam mumbled as he laid his head down on the pillow right next to Fred's, squeezing his eyes tightly shut, wishing for this to never end like a child does on Christmas morning after opening all the presents for them. Fred stirred in his sleep but never awoke so Adam's crying continued but now he was releasing gentle sobs that had started to sound from his throat. The sounds of his lover sobbing woke Fred up after a few minutes, his eyes flickering open as his heart pounded faster and faster – he just knew today would break Adam Burbank Lazzara's heart...  
  
“Adam?” Adam sniffed, looking at his now wide awake lover who wore a look of concern on his face. “What's wrong?” His voice was filled with concern as he propped himself up on one arm, looking into Adam's deep brown eyes only to notice the large bags that framed them. “Oh Adam,” Fred slowly but gently wrapped his arms around Adam's small frame before letting out a gentle sigh.  
  
“I love you Fred; promise you won't leave me, please?” Fred sighed lightly before pecking Adam's lips with his own, a small smile spread across them. “Fred – you didn't promise and you have icky morning breath!” Fred chuckled lightly before his lips met Adam's again, the kissing becoming less innocent by the second.  
  
Soon, Fred had pulled the younger man on top of him, his hands caressing Adam's face gently. He felt the butterflies in the pit of his stomach start to erupt just like the first time he'd met Adam, just like the first time they'd kissed even if it was a drunken mistake like he'd first said it was.  
  
“I love you so fucking much.” Fred half gasped half moaned as Adam ground himself into his hips causing shivers of immense pleasure for both himself and Fred. “I love you, I love you, I love you! I wish the whole world knew how much you really mean to me!” Adam's hand crawling down into his boxers which was all he was wearing made him kiss with more passion then before, making him scratch at Adam's back begging for him to just take him there and then. “Please,” it wasn’t a question; it was a statement showing how much Fred really wanted Adam one last time before he told him the news  
  
“No, we need to talk Fred.” Adam wasn’t usually the one who was brave enough to put a stop to the sexual habits the two had when it came to be alone together for enough time to give each other pleasure, it was usually Fred who had to say enough was enough. “I can’t go on like this knowing that you’re going to call it a day to our partnership within Taking Back Sunday.”  
  
“Adam, babe, let’s talk about this later, please?” Fred was leaving sweet, delicate kisses upon Adam’s neck, nibbling at the spots he knew Adam was most sensitive but licking the few spots Adam reacted the most to. Adam couldn’t help but give in to his blonde lover, the man that had stolen his heart by accident.  
  
-  
  
Adam watched Fred uneasily, since the passion filled sex this morning and the groping of one another in the shower, Fred had been quiet, not even making any snide remarks towards Matt Rubano, the bass player of Taking Back Sunday, claiming that he as the bass player was the most important member of the band. Adam couldn’t help but watch the way Fred spent so long fixated on making sure every string on his guitar sounded perfect. Adam couldn’t help but feel himself filling up with annoyance every time Fred muttered a profane word to himself.  
  
Mark O'Connell, the band’s drummer, noticed that for the past hour or two, Adam hadn’t lifted his eyes from their guitarists body, that he hadn’t even acknowledged that his fiancée had been sat in the room with them for that past half an hour or that Mark himself had been trying to catch his attention for a good hour, “what’s up chuck?” Adam looked up, his eyes lifting off of Fred much to Mark’s surprise. Adam sighed lightly before Mark sat beside him, his arm around his shoulder giving him a gentle squeeze. “Fred, what’s up with Laz?”  
  
Fred looked up from his guitar gulping; it was now or never. “I’m calling a band meeting.” And with that, he got up and walked out of the room after propping his guitar up on the couch leaving a heart-broken Adam and a confused Mark behind.  
  
Realization had come to Adam during the session him and Fred had shared this morning; hot, passionate, steamy and full of lust and love – this never was the case when it came to them having sex; it had never been love making before that morning, just mindless sex meaning one thing and one thing only to Adam; “he’ll be gone in the next week or two – The Color Fred is more important than we are.”  
  
Mark, taken back by Adam’s words just gave him a dry reply of, “don’t be so stupid Laz, Freddie loves this band more than anything in this world other than his wife and children,” which caused Adam to burst out into a fresh batch of tears. “Laz, what’s wrong?”  
  
Sniffing, Adam looked up at Mark, tears still running down his cheeks, “Fred’s leaving because of me; because I love him too much...”  
  
-  
  
Fred paced back and forth, back and forth in front of his four band mates who all sat staring at him, each one with different facial expressions being worn. Eddie Reyes, the founding member of the band and co-guitarist wore a anxious look, Mark O'Connell, the band’s drummer look painted with worry over the lead singer, Matt Rubano the bass player wore a look full of sorrow as he’d guessed it was going to be this way for a month or two now and last but not least, Adam Lazzara, the bands third basest whom had been handed a microphone a few months after he’d joined and told to sound good instead of torturing his poor bass on stage wore a look full of heartbreak knowing that this was the end of the love affair between himself and Fred.  
  
Fred sighed running a his left hand through his hair whilst his right one tapped against his jean clad leg, tears wanting to fall from his eyes, could he do this; could he tell a band that was basically his family that this was game over for him being with them? He had to; he couldn’t string them along anymore, he couldn’t string Adam along anymore. “I’m leaving the band,” and with those four words, Adam broke down, Mark hugging him tightly whilst Eddie and Matt just sat dumbstruck and utterly confused as to why all of a sudden Adam was emotional over Fred’s departure. “Adam, I’m so sorry mate.” Fred knelt down in front of Adam wanting to gain eye contact but Adam wouldn’t look up from where he’d buried his head in Mark’s shoulder; Adam was truly broken now... “I mean, I’ll perform with you guys for the last show of this tour but I just...” he sighed loudly, knowing that he was about to start up a hatred that would start with Matt Rubano against him and then the other three... “I can’t make music with you guys anymore; you’re more concerned with cooking food then making music!”  
  
“Fuck you Fred! You’re as much a part of the problem as we are when it comes to writing music!” Matt hissed at him as he got up, pushing Fred out of the way so he could give Adam’s a reassuring hug to show him that they’d make it through this together; the band always seemed to make it through line up changes anyway.  
  
Eddie blinked a couple of times, staring at Fred who was now laying on the floor, his hands covering his eyes as he sighed loudly, most likely thinking about what he’d just done and how he’d lost the person who’d shown him the most love. “How the fuck can you say shit like that Fred? After all the shit we’ve been through as a band you go and turn your back on us; best friends don’t fucking do shit like that!” He felt the blood in his veins start to boil, he felt the tears of betrayal start to fill his eyes, he felt his heart pounding against his ribcage desperate to escape; the most he felt was hurt though, hurt that a man he considered his brother would leave them like this, hurt that a man he loved with all his heart would do such a thing to him and last but not least, he was hurt that he was going to end up losing an amazing friend.  
  
Adam was chocking on his tears, Mark and Matt trying to calm him down, Matt trying to understand why he was so upset but not grasping the reality of the situation still whilst Mark prayed to God that Adam would pull through this and end up marrying the woman who he’d proposed to not too long ago. Adam had sat with Mark an hour before pouring his heart out to him, every last detail about the relationship him and Fred had hid in the dark came out and much to Adam’s surprise, Mark understood and didn’t judge him on his decisions to be with Fred; he understood the situation between the two somewhat.  
  
“I don’t think I can do this...” Fred looked at Adam through his fingers to see him push Mark and Matt off of him and run out of the room. Fred felt the guilt rising in his stomach as he heard Adam’s retching over what he assumed to be a toilet. He heard the others leave the room before he actually saw them but this might have been because he wasn’t looking at them, he was looking through them wishing that this wasn’t happening, that this was just a dream and that he’d just wake up and everything would be normal again. If only he was dreaming in Adam’s arms, if only it were all just a dream his imagination had created to scare him...  
  
-  
  
The band weren’t with it that night on stage. Matt wasn’t concentrating on his bass lines, Mark wasn’t concentrating on his drumming, Eddie wasn’t concentrating on playing the riffs he was meant to and Fred wasn’t even that alert to the crowd they were performing to tonight. Everyone was more focused on how Adam was throwing himself around the stage, nearly in tears still, his voice cracking and his screams making everyone want to cover their ears; this was Adam at his worst, this is something the audience shouldn’t have had to witness.  
  
The two way harmony that Adam and Fred did with nearly every song in the set weren’t working that night; Fred wasn’t singing meaning that with quick thinking, Matt had had to take over Fred’s singing role which had caused the crowd to go wild for the boys. Fred was in the background of things, his thoughts all being thoughts of concern about Adam, a man who this morning he’d made love to, a man who this morning he’d wanted not to break the heart of even though he knew it had to be done, and lastly, a man who Fred couldn’t see himself ever getting over...  
  
The last song of the set happened to be My Blue Heaven, a song which Adam had written most about Fred, a song of which he’d wanted Fred to love but had turned out to be one of which Fred had hated with such a fiery passion for reasons still to this day unknown to Adam.  
  
When it came to the last verse, Adam felt himself start to choke up, “ _Is this all too familiar? Does it happen all the time?_ ” Tears flooded from his eyes, his grip on the microphone was causing his knuckles to now turn white, a stabbing pain in his chest was causing his breathing to grow shorter and shorter with each moment that passed, “ _I'm just asking you to hear me. Could you please, just once, just hear me? More then anything you wanted to be right._ ” He turned around to stare Fred right in the eyes, to let Fred know that no matter what, “ _Still it's you, you, it's you I can't deny. It's you I can't deny._ ”  
  
Fred watched as Adam fell to the ground, dropping to his knees and weeping loudly, weeps that we projected around the venue due to the fact his microphone was still on and close to him causing the fans all the cheer him, thinking this was all for show when in fact, this was real emotions, this was real heart ache...  
  
“Adam, I love you,” his words didn’t sound the same to Adam anymore, his touch wasn’t magical either and his lips upon his skin didn’t send tingles racing through his body; nothing was the same anymore. Adam felt himself looking up from the floor to see Fred had dropped his guitar down in the spot he’d been sat in and was now embracing him, crying himself. “I love you, I love you, I love you but this is for our own good.”  
  
Fred was thankful that the microphone had been turned off before he’d gushed all of this to Adam, Fred was grateful that none of the band were crowding them and Fred was most certainly glad that the crowd thought this was all an act and that they had planned this all along...  
  
-  
  
“I wrote a song for you, it’s going to be on the first The Color Fred album, I promise.” Fred and Adam had been sat together in a room for a couple of hours, a silence hanging over them; Mark had managed to convince Eddie and Matt to go out for a drink at a local bar and leave the two friends to sort their friendship out if there was still one there...  
  
“What’s it called?” Adam’s throat ached from all the raw screaming, from all the singing and from all the crying he’d done that day, his heart ached from knowing Fred had used him for sex that morning, his head pounded from everything that had gone on...  
  
Fred picked up the acoustic guitar he’d been tuning earlier with a slight smile, “it’s called Hate To See You Go; can I play you it, please?” Adam nodded knowing that he’d never want to hear another song sung by Fred after this one, knowing that his heart would never be the same, knowing that he’d never love like he did ever again...  
  
Adam listened closely, not wanting to believe that Fred had made it out in the song that Adam was the one leaving Fred not the other way around, he concentrated on this thought until the second verse kicked in, “ _When you're young you decide what you can and cannot take, promises that you made, that wish you wouldn't break_.” Promises that he’d made? More like promises Fred had made... “ _This was over long before we met, this was over long before_ ,” Adam couldn’t take another word from Fred. Adam had reached his boiling point, Adam couldn’t take this anymore.  
  
The first thing he knew of Adam’s anger was when Adam’s balled fist met his jaw causing a searing pain to bolt through his body. The guitar fell from Fred’s clutches, smashing against the floor causing splinters of wood to fly through the room, causing Fred’s eyes to fill with tears. “You mother fucker! You’ve made it out like I’ve brought this on us; I’ll never forgive you Frederick! Never!”  
  
“It’s not like that, honestly!” Adam just shook his head, rising from the couch before storming out of the room, out of the building, out of Fred’s life forever... “I love you Adam.”  
  
Fred found himself cracking, he found himself shaking uncontrollably from all the crying, he found himself feeling so alone, so lost, so empty inside. He ignored the ringing of his cell phone even though he knew it was his darling wife from the ringtone; he couldn’t talk to her right now, he couldn’t talk to anyone – Frederick Paul Mascherino was alone in this world with no one to talk to and no one to that would love him the way Adam Burbank Lazzara had... he’d never felt so low before but then again, he’d never had to give up the love of his life before.  
  
Grabbing a notebook and a pen from on the side, Fred found himself scribbling down a new song for Adam, a new song that would end up on The Color Fred’s first album, a song that would change everything. Fred couldn’t let his musical talent be wasted all because he wasn’t with Adam anymore, no, this whole breaking up with Adam had triggered a new burst of inspiration for new songs, songs The Color Fred fans would love...  
  
But deep down, Fred wished that this wasn’t the case, deep down, Fred wished that Mark O'Connell hadn’t blackmailed him into leaving Taking Back Sunday, deep down inside, Fred wished that Mark hadn’t threatened him with how he’d tell Fred’s wife about the affair if he didn’t end it...deep down...Fred wished that he’d gone against Mark and his words...deep down, Fred knew he’d lost the best thing he’d ever have in his life...


End file.
